Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
