I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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