Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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