You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I see more hoeing in ur future
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
