all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
