i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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