Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
