Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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