Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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