I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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