i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
