I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
