sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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