I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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