I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
