wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
