you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
