I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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