So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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