She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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