I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just pee around me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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