so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
