drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize