Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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