I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
