she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
