i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
