You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
