I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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