Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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