some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
