What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
