you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
