I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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