Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
