The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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