His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There's always time for handjobs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
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