after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
