i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
