You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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