Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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