Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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