dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
