We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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