My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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