A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
