i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
