There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
