Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
