Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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