Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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