Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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