your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
