All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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