Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
