i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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