I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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