I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
