Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
