He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
