used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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